#idk im just trying to think of tags
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we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.
"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."
i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.
you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"
i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.
what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.
i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.
"don't make a big deal about this," you said.
this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.
"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.
you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."
the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.
afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."
#spilled ink#writeblr#i'm trying to write about this really specific and wierd new experience#that i think is specific to the internet generation#where people you trust can just... say whatever??? and while most people are trustworthy#sometimes they'll just like... put ur shit out there????#and the thing is that sometimes it's GOOD - i want you to tell ppl if ur partner is being cruel!!!!!#i want u to be like ''hey is it normal if xyz happens'' ... but stuff like ''she's afraid of the dark''#PARTICULARLY when it's CLEARLY making fun of me....#what is the point of that.#this is huge and complicated and happens outside of romantic relationships too btw#like someone u thought of as a friend will be like . oh did u know she's scared of heights and it's like.#girl why are u fuckin doing that tho?#it's not a SECRET i just ...???????????????????????#and i think that gross feeling of like -- ''i can't REALLY be upset bc there's not a TRUE RULE about this....''#it's just not something talked about. bc it's so specific and yet so complex#bc how could i say like '' this is a violation of trust'' when it... technically I GUESS isn't????????????#idk maybe im just like super sensitive but please tell me in the comments/tags/etc if this is#something u have experienced (a trusted person like spreading ur shit) and if u were cool with it
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i'm exactly as normal about him as I thought I'd be
#my art#trigun stampede#vash the stampede#trigun#trigun vash#vash#tristamp#trigun stampede fanart#trigun fanart#idk the tags fr this fandom sorry its babys first trigun#im not abandoning jjk but expect more other stuff sprinkled in!! including trigun <333 including him <3#ANYWAY IM SOOOOO NORMAL ABTHIM IM SO NORMAL I PROMISE#im lying im sorry im feral about him i want unspeakable things done 2 him it was over the moment i heard his voice#but [redacted] thoughts aside#hes so fun to draw oh my god how did they make a character Exactly For Me how did they make one that ticks all my boxes#hes blond but like i can work with it i will get good at rendering blond hair for him <333 hes worth it <333333#i was cruisin along mindin my business having fun learning how 2 draw him and then i get 2 the arm . +24hrs to total drawtime#all my cheats ...my safety net of being able 2 use flesh to disguise th fact that u dont reeeeally know where tendons or joints go...#out th window. this prosthetic is practically an anatomically correct model. u can see EVERYTHINg#put my entire me into trying to figure it out h i think it is ok i think i like it#god i rly cant get over how he's just a combination of all the fun parts of drawing yuuji megumi AND gojo#he is the center of their triple venn diagram and i am EATING HIM ALIVE#sorry ill calm down .... fr now.... smile :)
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I've been curating some of these things and I think it's time to let them loose into the world. My hope is that at least one of them is funny
#Yes I just make these on the side whenever I find anything I think is funny and then hoard them#trafficblr#mcyt#am I gonna tag all the lifers for this. am I#sigh.ok some of them#zombiecleo#bad boys#jimmy solidarity#joel smallishbeans#ethoslab#scott smajor#geminitay#skizzleman#goodtimeswithscar#boat boys#not meant to be shippy Im just trying desperately to be a little funny#shiny duo#idk what else ur supposed to tag in these#bdoubleo#shak's shitpost
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pelican town, ‘72
#stardew valley#stardew valley spoilers#sdv#sdv spoilers#grandpa#mister qi#mr. qi#idk how dates work in stardew universe im just bullshittin#i love qi’s huge fucking eyebrows you dont notice them at first but theyre there#(gives our collective grandpa a ponytail) i think he had one. whatever#’why isnt mister qi blue’ my hc is he is blue from long-term iridium supplementation#and was originally just a regular person#but also it’s nice to see ur fav be like a normal human color#if u read tag essays tho consider this:#qi discovers secret to immortality (consuming iridium in a specific manner)#wants to share discovery with his farmer (player’s grandpa) and in that way. they will have all the time in the world to build#a perfect farming/business empire whose legacy will last forever and ever and theyll be 2gether forever#but it turns out. like a lot of normal people would. his farmer does not want to live forever#and obv he doesn’t#in an attempt to try not to ever lose the thing that means more to him than anything else in the world. qi inadvertantly ensures he will#because his farmer is dead. and he’s going to live forever#but. it’s kind of ok. because he has infinite money and was able to figure out how to talk to his dead bf#and now YOU help them fulfill their joint goal of making the farm’s legacy last forever#smile. heart#sobbing
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aw seriously
#senart#Im trying to think of a witty caption but i cant sorry lmao#i was gonna say some corny shit like 'whats worse than alien invasion? An algebraic alien invasion' like tf is that naw#anyways ermm im aware rhis is like idk my 3rd slash 4th time in a row drawing earth n luna i cant help it theyre just so silly#this is random but i think there should be more solarballs n object shows crossovers like. show type (? wise#theyre literally cousins if not siblings yk (sentient talking objects with limbs - sentient talking planets)#ok anyway tag time#solarballs#solarballs earth#solarballs luna#bfb#bfb four#bfb x#battle for bfdi#battle for bfb#battle for dream island
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jla/titans (1998) #3 // the kids aren't alright, fall out boy // new teen titans (1984) #19 // tales of the teen titans (1984) #59 // outsiders (2003) #16 // outsiders (2003) #1 // stand by me (1986) // titans/young justice: graduation day (2003) #3 // unknown // dc special: the return of donna troy (2005) #2 // titans (1999) #1 // nightwing (2016) #90 // titans (2016) #15 // ivy, frank ocean // teen titans (1996) #12 // titans (2008) #15 // batman chronicles (1995) #7 // outsiders (2003) #11 // a working list of things i will never tell you, jon sands // flash (1987) #210 // flash (1987) #214 // nightwing secret files and origins (1999) #1 // the firm, john grisham // jla/titans (1998) #3
dick + core titans (donna, garth, roy, wally)
#dick grayson#donna troy#garth of shayeris#roy harper#wally west#titans#fab five#idk if I should tag their superhero identities as well since that's two each which will just be so tedious??#dcu#webweaving#unfortunately this doesn't have enough garth bc ngl im not as well versed with his comic appearances as i am with the rest#also i was trying rlly hard not to have any other superheroes/titans present at all and a lot of good roy and garth panels had other ppl :(#but I think im happy with this#something about how childhood best friends know you the most but also the least#u can swing back to them like a pendulum but you will also always swing away#but the love is always there <3#also just a lot of thoughts about legacy but i don't think my tags are the place to do that#core five my beloved <3
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I think this is one of my favorite lines from the Wraith route because of (imo) how much the meaning changes depending on if you got there via Spectre or Nightmare. For Spectre, it honestly strikes me as a genuine question. Why are you doing this to her? If you're on the Spectre route, you presumably already know the Narrator can't really be trusted, since you had to reject his reward to get here. What are you hoping to gain from continuing to hurt her? For Nightmare, it honestly just makes me sad. As the Shifting Mound describes her, "She desires only companionship, but the only thing she knows is how to hurt." This line feels like a plea from someone who genuinely doesn't understand why you keep rejecting her. She wants to be with you, but she just can't understand how to do that in a way which doesn't hurt you.
#at the risk of getting put on a list there is something tragic & relatable in nightmare#someone who desperately wants to make connections but just can't understand how#anyway wraith is one of my favorite princesses for stuff like this (and bc tragedy aside her route is a riot)#also im sorry if she doesn't say that line if you got there via nightmare#that's how i got her and i could've sworn she did? But i only found footage of her saying it in spectre#slay the princess#stp#stp wraith#the wraith#stp spectre#stp nightmare#side note archetypal/heart#(slash so i don't accidentally tag them)#pointed out on another post of mine that you get wraith via nightmare by killing her and via spectre by leaving her in the basement#in both cases its a rejection of her (rejection being one of wraith's main themes)#which makes me speculate on spectre's ch 3 (which i think we currently have very little info on?)#Trying to run from Nightmare should technically be a 'rejection' as well#but you get MOC from that (and from choosing to stay with her)#imo bc you're just repeating the same inaction which got you into this situation in the first place#you don't want to slay her. you don't want to set her free. So you just leave her there (again)#and so you get MOC where things have only gotten worse and you have no choice left. Because you chose *not* to take action again#So I wonder if spectre 3 will be a similar 'repeating your past mistakes' type of deal#i was skeptical about it coming from stabbing yourself while she possesses you or trying to crush her bones#but it does make sense with that in mind#im curious if it'll parallel MOC#except instead of having no choice but to free the princess you have no choice but to obey the narrator again#maybe you both end up stuck in the cabin forever again?#idk#sorry i probably should've put all of that tag in the post lmao
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like half of a frame redraw
#i just wanted a new discord pfp and i love cyn#lighting is not correct but i personally dont care im too tired to do the red lighting#skyns so hard to draw dude i spent like 2 and a half hours trying to get her down#which sucks cause shes such a rad design#blood and gore warning#how do you tag warnings ive never had to do this before#im sO HYPED BUT AT THE SAME TIME LIAM YOU CANT DO THIS TO ME#LIAM PLEASE YOU CANT JUST LEAVE ME ON A SINGLE SEASON I NEED THIS#oh yeah also finale trailer dropped so uhhh spoilers for that i guess idk how i would tag that#art#murder drones#murder drones cyn#murder drones skyn#murder drones flesha#i think those are really funny names honestly
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hey so i dont really have a lot of time to waste here but my dog is really sick and we don't have the money to get her to the vet. Her name is Bailey, she just turned 9, and lately she has been trembling like a leaf. She won't eat, going to the bathroom seems to be hard, and she shakes constantly.
Bailey is one of the most important things in the world to me, and to my grandmother, the woman who raised me.
I need $600. My commissions are here, my Kofi is here, and my p4ypal is here.
now look at my scruff monster
#idk how to tag this at all#just help my dog#im not buyin shit til she's okay#ive been trying really hard to just not think abt it bc im really bad at. processing. and grieving. i dont want to need to grieve
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part 1 of a little comic / art sequence that i've been working on! :D it's part tribute, part experimenting with brushes n colors and trying new thingz :]
| 1 | 2 | ... |
and thus continues my endless quest of spreading the carrot fics like a plague! if you've seen my art floating around you probs already figured that this au holds a very special place in my heart, forever and always!!
if you haven't heard of it, it's a fic series by @crowned-ladybug called carrot soup!! it made me wish i could speak colors and i need more people to share my struggle xd
go check it out if you're into sweet voice lore and qpr level gayness and just wanna feel warm and soft and warm (hurt/comfort my beloved) <333 there are some heavier themes cos everyone's traumatized but they're working through it! be sure to check the tags and stay safe! <3
#hlvrai#half life vr but the ai is self aware#frenrey#carrots au#<- gotta remember to tag the other ones as well#yippie im so excited to finally start sharing these with people!!!#there will be at least 5 parts in total maybe more idk#i just wanted to illustrate this little snippet of the first fic#maybe i'll draw more of these if i get another vision#i am still trying to work on the animatic so that would probs include most of my visions anyway#i think im gonna post a wip sometime soon just in case i lose interest#also i crave validation and reading people's tags and comments makes me so so so happy!!!><#btw it kinda feels nice posting something like. after a while#cos it's been quite a bit since i finished this first.. part? page? thingy#and it's nice to finally stay out of the whole instant gratification thing#please do still go crazy in the tags tho? if u want?#mkay enough rambling for today i've got things to do#like be cozy n read fanfics n drink water n stuff yk?#all the important thingz#and who knows maybe i'll even make some progress on.. whatever it is that piques my interest today#bye for now!!! take care and have a very orange day <3#art tag or whatever
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he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.
except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?
at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.
except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.
about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.
he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.
#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag#writeblr#it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal#fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho)#healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy#im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage....#1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind#and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes#2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception''#3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.''#idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh#im sure there are people who have this experience normally#but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists#when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band''#edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful#once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large#but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry.#but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes#but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally.#i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes#people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism#but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet .#i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY#and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound.#but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in#i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too.#here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change#was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort)#choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL
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oh, your love is sunlight
#jegulus#jegulus fanart#regulus black#james potter#james x regulus#marauders#marauders fanart#regulus black fanart#james potter fanart#hp#idk if they changed the tumblr tagging system#it used to onky recognise the first 5 tags#but i see everyone tagging more than just 5#so im trying as well just in case#cause i do kinda really care about this one...#i still havent figured out light completely#but i got the golden hour late pretty well i think#(no one look at james one hand i tried to fix the thumb but i failed)#mine#my art
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i know the whole "do you think jon ever used his powers to Know what his parents looked like" thing is far more devastating than this but what if he tried using his powers to remember original sasha? jon and sasha always seemed closer than the rest, he picked her (and tim) to work with him and tolerated a lot more nonsense from her than anyone else (using his password to access his computer [161], debating his pronunciation of calliope [25], etc)
and ofc jon and martin became significantly closer as the podcast went on, but in the beginning he was cruel to martin when he gave a statement but accepting of sasha? idk i think their friendship was a lot deeper than we realized (ESPECIALLY since his first murder in season 5 was because NotThem provoked him about sasha) and i think jon wouldve used his powers to Know the original sasha, not sure if it wouldve worked though
so so sorry to distract from the post but can yall read the tags for me because i suffered immensely for this post
#they make me ill#sasha was so cool i miss her every day#i think we need more sasha content#idk i wish we got more of them specifically#THIS POST. HAS CRASHED. 4. TIMES.#i am trying to write about the magnus archives and its like “hee hee tumbeast ate your post” give it the fuck back?#it saved to my drafts after the 4th tag but this is pissing me off#every time i try to tag it as “tma” it crashes so im not doing that#just pretend i did ok#16 more times total of 20 every time i try to write tags it crashes#it wont let me write the archivists name im genuinely so serious#please help me please help me#im gonna sit here for a second and let it save as draft#6 more times#ur joking#total of 26 crashes over this one post#hate to distract from my incredibly brilliant insight but this is unusable#i think its okay again actually?#gonna try tagging with real tags wish me luck#jonathan sims#jon sims#sasha james#tma#the magnus archives#the archivist#notthem#notsasha#tma theory#tma spoilers#holy shit it worked
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wow Ace attorney doodles two days in a row?
yes 😔
I finished the first case of the second game and boy it was surprisingly queer
#ace attorney#The great ace attorney#Tgaa2#idk how y’all tag over here uh#Suasato Mikotoba#ryuunosuke naruhodou#susaori#i think at least idk#just wanted to get these out#trying to practice digital more for no reason genuinely#it dose make it easier to instantly post things#screw getting my sketches scanned#Just sketch on Ipad in multiple layers then delete#boom#easy#digital art#im in a classic i dont care if my art is bad phase run#rn#and its going pretty well honestly#im just gettin shit done it’s pretty nice#hopefuly over my break i can work digitally and get some bomb ass fan art#because my brain is in AA rott for no reason#i genuenly have no clue where it came from#like a switch#‘you like ace attorney a lot again’#but TGAA is honestly really fun so im stoked it happened#anyway im done#see y’all tomorrow probably lmao#susarei
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i disappear inside myself / my friends don't know it can't be helped
[Pure You - Nothing But Thieves]
#my art#mysme#mystic messenger#v mystic messenger#jihyun kim#ummmm hi guys#^-^#fanart from me?? posted directly to this blog ??? or at all??? Well.#i was looping this song and i had the idea for this and then sat down for about four hours and here it is#im on like day 2 of v's route for the first time AND this song just came out like right as i got into his route yknow#and i was listening to those lyrics like.... huh.....#this soundssss. familiar.#anyway. politely i did NOT think that if i made fanart of this game after returning to it for the first time in like 6 years. it would be V#i adore this song though. and it compels me#i havent ever seen his route before so i still don't know how it ends idk how accurate this vibe even is#i would say try to avoid spoiling me in the tags but im gonna be real say whatever you want kings#i love u mysme fandom thats still around in 2024 you get me#anyway im drafting this at about 3 in the morning and i need to be awake earlyish tomorrow SO.#we'll see when i post this#its been so long since ive posted art i just do nawt make fanart until i get divinely inspired#iffff its blurry please click to see it its supposed to be crisp ^^;#been on this site how long i still pay no mind to their suggested image resolution#OH and by day 2 of V's route i mean like day 6 overall. you understand
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Do you see my vision
#my dc posting#my art#dc#jason todd#red hood#transfem jason todd#transwoman jason todd#trans fem jason todd#trans woman jason todd#its always so weird when uve made a character trans. and then u gotta use their canon name for tagging#i feel like im deadnaming her even tho i havent come up w a name yet#the lazarus pit gives spontaneous transition. even if u havent realized ur trans yet#i feel like itd be hard to become a respected n feared n succesful crime lord if she presented as female. because of the 'sogony.#so she can have a lil perry the platypus style shit goin on w a voice modifier in the helmet#also coming back as a woman would make batman less likely to connect her w his dead 'son'. so.#idk. i dont actually have a fully formed au or timeline in mind i just find it easier to draw women#its more of a psychological thing where if im in the headspace of 'this is a woman' it becomes just easier to draw the body#🤷 it is how it is ig#censored bc tumblr's a bitch n really it doesnt matter#i had a post w like 1 note that was literally just 'i dont think [insert name] is a good name for a transfem version of [insert character]'#and it got labelled Mature by tumblr so i figured might as well not even try n be Modest and shit w the way tumblr's fuckin it up rn#anyway shoutout to Daughter of Dragons by thispatternismine for the inspiration#...how does all that hair fit comfortably inside the helmet?#ah. hmm. well that is. it sure is a question! that i will not be answering.#jason todd fanart#dc fanart
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